Days of the Week

Tuesday used your phone to vote for Dancing with the Stars. Multiple times.

Thursday wants to tell you about this hip, underground band called The Killers.

Thursday is the one who cancelled Arrested Development

Wednesday twitters while at a strip club.

Tuesday writes “, BA” after its name

Monday owns Liza Minelli in concert on dvd

Friday doesn’t tell your boss you faked the flu to go to disneyland

Friday stayed down there until you finished, and then baked you a pie

Thursday’s response to “how are you?” always starts with a sigh.

Thursday replaced my birth control with sugar pills.

Ironically, Thursday uses the words “ironically” and “literally” incorrectly. Literally everytime.

I saw Thursday distributing foreign currency to a bum

Wednesday spams your wall with Zac Efron blingees.

Wednesday insists you use its name in phrases such as “you just pulled a Wednesday!” or “That was totally Wednesday”

Wednesday has made a huge mistake.